Seasons change: Letting go and gaining peace
Thoughts on reframing productivity and accomplishment, 6 book recaps, 4 recipes for squash and soup season, and my post-election coping plan
I somehow had near perfect timing this month, arriving to peak color while traveling to Vermont and returning home to such vibrancy it had me wondering why I left. With a month of experiencing the best of my favorite season, it was a reminder to appreciate the awe of change.
I prioritized spending timing outside, going to my favorite parks and remembering the location of the trees that tend to show off and have me muttering “wow” at their annual reveal. I stopped to stare up at the trees in my neighborhood, a rush of calm and appreciation to have access to such beauty. And does anything say “main character energy” quite like walking on a sunny day with leaves floating down around you?
When I’m not amongst the trees, though, and as the leaves continue to fall, it’s easy to feel the overwhelm. Part of it is knowing soon enough winter and the struggles it brings are coming, part of it is election anxiety. Much of the overwhelm, however, is around the need to be productive, feeling pulled in several directions, there’s always something else I “should” be doing. It’s something I’ve been working on for years, but when we’re surrounded by reminders to set and achieve goals in every facet of life, it’s a constant struggle. I recently revisited this essay by
on how, in many ways, the way we live in America isn’t normal—our pace, our systems, our “productivity fetish.”“I realized there are other places in the world (not just Italy) where life isn't about conspicuous consumption and "crushing" and "killing" your life goals, where people aren't drowning in debt just to pay for basic life necessities. There are places where people have free time and where that free time is used to do things they love — not to start a side hustle.”
This year I feel like I’ve made progress in reframing my feelings around accomplishment, thanks to books like Don’t Overthink It and The Artist’s Way. I’m actively not crushing it here in a traditional sense, but feelings of guilt still come up. If I’m not crushing it professionally, shouldn’t I have a lucrative side gig, or a perfect home?
And that leads me to this
essay on women and clean culture that’s been running through my mind since I read it. Mainly, this stat:“Women spend more than twice as much time allocated to household work than men, even when they are single or do not have children.”
As someone who does annual cleaning and organization challenges, I can appreciate the satisfaction it can bring and the sense of accomplishment, but at what cost? As
writes,“What if I begin to understand that clean culture — like diet culture, like purity culture, like bourgeois parenting culture — persists in part because it conveniently keeps women so busy, fatigued, and distracted that they can’t more effectively combat patriarchy?”
Oy. And if cleaning, or wellness challenges, or professional accolades truly bring you joy and align with your values, great—but we can’t do it all and we don’t need to pretend that we want to—no matter the near constant reminders to move/clean/achieve.
So in this season, as the leaves let go, can I do the same? Can you? Can I make the change, choose to not care about being productive, filling time with tasks? Instead, can I spend more time on the things that align with my values? Can I resist the pull of a to-do list while I sit and write and enjoy the peace it brings?
Rather than feeling guilty about my lack of interest in professional accomplishments, can I recognize the things that are far more rewarding? Things like: receiving a thoughtful thank you note, loved ones requesting leftovers, becoming a regular at my neighborhood market.
It’s a change, for sure—but if we can let go, align with what matters to us—I think it’s a change as worthy of awe as the October leaves.
Reminder: I have a full playlist with the songs featured in these monthly recaps.
On to the recaps…
Answers in the pages
Love Buzz, Neely Tubati Alexander
This one has been on my list since I heard the author speak at the 2023 Columbus Book Festival. It’s a serendipitous romance when the main characters meet in New Orleans and learn they both live in Seattle. Of course, chaos ensues and the two separate with minimal details—professions, neighborhoods, not much to go on—but not nothing. The New Orleans trip and meet-cute marks a pivotal moment for our main character as she approaches her thirtieth birthday. Is her life—job, relationship, friendships, family—really what she wants? Or is she carrying on her mother’s dreams? I always appreciate a “character blows up life to try and get to what they really want story” and this delivers. The side characters were the best part for me, especially a new friend she makes on the plane, a woman decades older than her.
The Most, Jessica Anthony
“She hoped he would never come find her. She knew that if she saw him in person, he would ask her to marry him, and she did not want him to ask. She was afraid she might say yes.”
As a novella, I believe this is the shortest read from the 2024 National Book Award for Fiction Longlist. Taking place over the course of one day (an unseasonably warm November day when Sputnik 2 is launched), this felt like an episode of Mad Men. The perspective changes back and forth from the husband and wife, as they both recognize they’ve arrived at a pivotal point of their marriage. They reflect on mistakes made and the not-so-secret secrets of their relationship. The writing reminded of Katherine Heiney, but the story is a bit more bleak. Perfect for a plane ride or read in one afternoon situation.
You, Again, Kate Goldbeck
"No one makes new friends after a breakup. It's hard enough to be likable when you're actually happy."
With comparisons to When Harry Met Sally, this has been on my list since its release last year. Like the movie, it’s a slow burn romance set in NYC and as much of a modern update as you can get—texting, social media, open relationships, dating apps—a real education in modern love! The dialogue and observations have a sharpness that is definitely Ephron-esque. One of the main characters is a chef, and that probably made this one more enjoyable for me, I love reading about the NYC food scene and he gives off some Carmy from The Bear vibes. Yes, chef!
Tell Me I’m An Artist, Chelsea Martin
"It's funny that the world just keeps going. Seems impossible that there hasn't been a moment yet where humanity is collectively like, Can we pause for a sec and reassess what we are doing here? Cuz something feels off."
I’m embarrassed this was the third time I packed this book in my suitcase. But the third time must be a charm, it was a fast read that had me laughing out loud. It’s a coming-of-age story with the dark humor of an art student who struggles to find her way. She leaves a family of addiction and chaos and is dropped in a whole new world surrounded by rich, upperclass, well-connected students. The coming-of-age storylines are here—making friends, changing family dynamics, financial struggles, relationships—all told with the ridiculous (in a good way) backdrop of a project remaking Rushmore, without actually seeing the movie.
The Family Compound, Liz Parker
“That’s the funny part about anxiety: sometimes with inexplicable self-awareness, like a wave you don’t know if you’re riding or being pummeled by.”
When I’m traveling, I love to pick up a book set in that location as a way to extend the trip a bit more. So while I was back home, I revisited Stowe, VT each day as I read this family drama. The character-driven story centers around five cousins who inherit their family land in Stowe and must come to an agreement to keep or sell. The setting was what I was rooting for, along with some of the supporting characters, all of the cousins were fairly insufferable most of the book.
Look Closer, David Ellis
“You want to kill someone, Halloween's not a bad night.”
It’s so rare that I read a mystery, I forgot that its weirdly fun, all the twists and turns. If you want to plan your reading a year in advance, this one takes place over Halloween so it’s a perfect October read. I feel ill-equipped to say much else given this is my rare read in the genre, and a reminder I should explore it more often.
Answers in the kitchen: 4 recipes for squash and soup season
It’s soup season! I usually have the ingredients on hand for this roasted carrot and apple soup which makes it a frequent go-to.
A moment for delicata squash, the most lost low-maintenance of the autumnal squash fam (the garlic parm is my favorite).
Climbing the ranks of my favorite soups is this squash lentil recipe from
.
Answers elsewhere: A post-election coping plan
Talking with friends and family this past week, most of us are hanging by a thread and I’m anticipating waiting days (at least) on the final results. If you need help with your voting plan, Vote Save America is a helpful resource. Here’s what I have planned for this week:
First off, a lot of walks and park visits.
Voting at my polling place on Election Day, being kind to the poll workers, and wearing that damn sticker all day.
Grabbing dinner and/or a beverage out with my book.
Breakfast with a friend on Wednesday to feel the feelings together with whatever we know by then.
Themed Peloton rides that I can sing along to, like this ride with The Killers music.
Going to see a movie, emotions will be high, may go ahead and lean in, watch We Live In Time.
Starting Adam & Evie’s Matchmaking Tour for some escapism.
shared a few quintessentially British novels if that’s your escape route of choice.Seeing Cold War Kids.
Making crepes to celebrate my mom’s birthday.
I’d love to hear what you’re reading, watching, and eating this week—vote and hang in there!
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I watched the new Beetlejuice this weekend. Wonderfully nostalgic. Tim Burton would be a great distraction from election woes.