Any day's better than February
Unless you're rewatching Friends
For as long as I can remember, February has been my least favorite month (it was probably around the time I aged out of shoebox valentine boxes). It can truly feel like the movie Groundhog Day: cold, gray, dark — less vermin, but all the same.
The comfort watch is a coping mechanism for me and as such, a few scenes have been replaying in my head that capture how I’ve been moving through the world. Because who needs feelings when you have TV and movies?
Sharing these sentiments with friends lately got me thinking about the unique language we create, through pop culture and our experiences. One language may be internal, just to us. (When I’m sick, I always think of “I feel like crap on toast” from Michel in Gilmore Girls) And then there are other dialects, the magic of the shared language between friends — a bond over a piece of pop culture, a memorable moment you had together (for me its often dead pan delivery not matching the sentiment).
Think about those instances that you forget which language you’re speaking and pull something from one friend dialect to another, you’re met with a blank stare, not understanding what just happened. Or when you break out in song when someone says something that triggers a lyric (or is this just me?). You could forge through and pretend like what you said made complete sense, or you can rewind to explain and let someone else in — and isn’t that how we get to share ourselves? (You know, when you’re not sending out a newsletter policing the vibe.)
These days, Gen Z probably has this more through TikTok trends, but I like to think the Gen X and millennial languages created by a decade of watching a sitcom or memorizing the lyrics in size eight font on the CD booklet will stand the test of time.
And so to continue this ode to pop culture and friendship, for this month, let’s create new entries in our shared language with friends.
Talk less about your job and more about that weird pop culture thing in your head.
Have what I’ve seen referred to as “lay flat Sunday” where you gather to do nothing more than consume a screen and food. I did this recently with Everything Everywhere All at Once and the relaxation, gratitude and fulfillment I felt was like a high.
Go see a movie in an actual cinema with friends. Between habits formed as a result of streaming access and the pandemic, going to the movies had been something I kind of wrote off, but I’ve been slowly getting back to it and honestly it’s been a perfect balm for a frigid day. Seeing the movie and then dissecting afterward — a revelation from the before times! Not being distracted with your phone, the laundry, its a goddamn delight. Here’s what I’ve seen recently: Poor Things, American Fiction and Drive-Away Dolls.
Answers in the pages
Good Material, Dolly Alderton
"But break-ups have depreciating gains. I'm thirty-five now. I know who I am. I am already sick of myself."
This breakup story is reminiscent of 500 Days of Summer as it balances angst, sweetness and comedy. With a lovable cast of charming and quirky characters, it felt like a true-to-life representation of the family you create out in the world. Some love you unconditionally, some push you, some enable you, and some call you out on your bullshit. I loved the full circle moments Dolly created with her storytelling and this is a rare one that I plan to reread to enjoy all over again.
contemporary fiction / read if you loved 500 Days of Summer / pair with your favorite Beatles album
Inciting Joy, Ross Gay
A book of essays or short stories always feels like a grownup bedtime story to me and Ross Gay’s writing is a treat. It reminded me a bit of Hanif Abdurraqib. I loved his essays about gardening and his work on a community orchard. My favorite takeaway I’ve been revisiting came from the description of his teaching. He’ll start a class by asking students to share dreams, or report on something they found beautiful that day. “And sometimes I'll ask what people have recently — say in the last day or two — come to realize they love, a question that at first seems to be difficult for some of them, as they say, ‘I like’ this, or ‘I like’ that, to which I try to lean on them by saying, ‘No no, I said, what do you love?’ Because sharing what we love is dangerous, it is vulnerable, it is like baring your neck, or your belly, and it reveals that, in some ways, we are all commonly tender.
nonfiction essays / read if you want a fresh look at joy and gratitude / pair with planning your garden
Age of Vice, Deepti Kapoor
“She lived a double life all the time. Even in her own heart. Almost everyone did. It was just how things were. Someone was always watching, keeping a record of things to be used against you later.”
Rich people behaving badly is not my genre of choice, but if it’s yours you might enjoy this one described as the “Indian Godfather.” It’s even planned as a trilogy but at close to 600 pages it was hectic and jarring to read, with no real payoff. Some characters and plot lines seemed underdeveloped and perhaps it’s all part of the master trilogy plan but I won’t be picking up the next one to find out.
Dickens & Prince, Nick Hornby
"Prince did a lot more than just record, and Dickens did a lot more than simply write novels. But I yoked them together in my mind at that moment because they are two of what I shall describe, for want of a more exact term, as 'My People' — the people I have thought about a lot over the years, the artists who have shaped me, inspired me, and made me think about my own work."
I can’t recall where I saw this one featured recently but it was a surprise delight to listen to. While you don’t have to an expert on the subjects, it does require a certain level of acknowledgement of the genius and prolific work by both. The last time I read Hornby gushing about Dickens, I picked up David Copperfield where it has sat on my shelf since. March is the month I’m committing to pick it up. Wish me luck!
nonfiction / read if you too wish you could write a book about your favorite artists / pair your favorite Prince song, obviously
Answers in the kitchen
Tomato soup is tomato soup, but the genius here is topping with cheesy croutons — what soup wouldn’t benefit from this?
A great movie snack (for your lay flat Sunday).
Tuna melts have always kind of grossed me out but in my efforts to eat more Mediterranean, a friend shared this tuna with me over the summer and this recipe is now a repeat for me.
Answers online
“I’ve had a bad few days, I need a book.” A celebration of independent bookstores from
.
Answers elsewhere
I’m probably the only person that innocently went into One Day (Netflix) blind without consuming or being aware of the other versions. So yeah, I was wrecked…but in a good way. And that playlist!
The new Future Islands album.
A barre class that makes you feel strong with a kind approach. I’ve been a member since the start, four years strong!
This month’s subject line comes from a Beach Bunny lyric. If I go see them this summer will I be the oldest person there?
See you next month! In the meantime, tell me your favorite comfort watch or piece of pop culture you like to share.